Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
