Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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