My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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