My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
