i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
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