he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Randomize
