once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Randomize
