I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Life is so much better after having sex.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I stole a fireplace last night.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
