I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
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