3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
