id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Randomize
