Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize