The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
