I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
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