doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
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