turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
