I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
