Fuck appropriateness.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I'm like, not good at living.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
