so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
