he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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