bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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