Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Randomize
