WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Randomize
