Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
