If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
