I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
