you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
