She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
