He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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