it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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