This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Randomize
