you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
