Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
NoShamevember. You game?
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
