I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
