Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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