Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
