me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize