yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
