I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
