3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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