would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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