Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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