"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
