K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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