none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Randomize
