I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
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