she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
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