OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize