that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I am available for nakedness
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