capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
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