so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
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