dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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