Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
