One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
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