If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize