I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
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