My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
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