i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Randomize
