He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Randomize
