The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
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