oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
