? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
